Thanks go to our friends in Japan Snakas Blog for providing us with a look at Ravage, Laserbeak, Stakeout and Red Heat out of package!
Wait. Red Heat? Wasn’t that a film?
It was actually two films, released less than three years apart, in the eighties. Hasbro couldn’t get the rights to “Red Hot” we suppose, presumably because it’s not defensible as a trademark and because it has all sorts of dirty (and exciting) connotations. God help the poor kid who types it into Google.
Laserbeak and Ravage look alright. ‘Beak has his cool visor thing from that one episode of the cartoon, but is missing his guns, instead just packing some impotent junk in his trunk. Soundwave has spent the past few years spoiling Ravage with too many Energon Cubes, and the poor thing has put on a bit of weight. They both turn into cassettes which other Transformers can, um, wield like shields. Frankly, that’s a terrible idea and something we never saw coming. (“Transforms from high-tech audio device to meat-shield in just thirty years!”)
The proper Micromasters look just like their G1 counterparts. A little too much like their G1 counterparts if you ask us. It’s not as if Hasbro even added a great deal of modern articulation – their legs move but the arms are stiff and atrophied. That’s what happens when you skip arm day at the gym, fellas.
Hasbro would have us believe that they combine into a gun mode… A gun mode called the “Binerboost Salvage Blaster”… A gun mode that looks like some weird Transformer sex position gone wrong. Ready for this, guys?
No, for real. That’s it. We’re not pulling your leg, Hasbro really do think you’re that stupid. Prove them wrong, and never attempt this. Go and get some Targetmasters, or those cool Armada Mini-Cons that turned into guns, or even make your Micromasters do all the weird sex positions your imagination can come up with. But never, ever give Hasbro the satisfaction of knowing you tried this.
“Stiff and atrophied”